Its Kinda Funny....

Exactly a year ago today I was playing a Songwriters Showcase at the Bluebird Cafe in Nashville to a packed crowd of 300 people. That was followed by my own showcase at Borders Books on Broadway. Now , a year later, I work in a Smoothie shop making wraps and sandwiches. Kinda funny how I feel like I've gone backwards instead of forwards. The only possible good thing is I can now relate to those who have to actually do this with no other means of skill or talent other than showing up for work. I feel like now I have a new respect for people in the food industry- of all types, because it really is hard. I remember a few years ago when I was turned down for a waiter position because I didnt have any experience. I thought "well any monkey can do this!". Well now, I think maybe any monkey can't do this. But I am taking it all in stride. At least this year I got to sing "My Loudoun County Home" at America's Cup of Polo- selected via youtube. And they did have a nice write up about me on the Washington Post Blog, and I was well recieved there. Still, I feel like nothing has turned out the way I planned it. Nothing. I think when I was 16 I kinda had my life mapped out. By this time I was supposed to be touring the country in my own bus, with millions of fans- (many female ones), and having interviews on Conan O'Brien show, and being hailed as the next Alternative Country Music Pioneer. And possibly even married to a beautiful wife and possibly children and a beautiful house out in the country with my own recording studio and a few horses. And that was my dream life. Now here I am in my late 20s, living at home with my father and my crazy Aunt Virginia, working at a smoothie shop by day, and playing coffeeshops by night. And thats not to say I'm not living my dream. Everytime I step in front of that microphone in front of an audience, I am living my dream- a dream I had since I was in diapers. Yet, still, there is little if any money, or means of support, and my entire direction has fallen on death ears.

The strains of "Sweet Tea" may never go beyond my bedroom or someone watching on YouTube. However, at least I tried. I am not a failure, because I tried. And in the end, thats what matters.

Bubba's Pool Party

This has been another busy weekend for me. I worked Saturday afternoon at the Smoothie Shop then went home and took a quick shower and headed over to play at a pool party for a friend at church on the Northside. Bubba has cancer, so they were also haveing an auction to raise money for treatements- but he seemed in pretty good spirits. I did an hour set or so, and then they had plenty of good cookin'. I tried to resist the moon pies and twinkies though. Those look sooo good! I had so many people say they enjoyed my singin' so that was nice. Bubba seemed to like it as well.

Larry the drummer was there also, as well as his wife Bonnie.

Today I was an extra for a TV Pilot . It was shot of University of Richmond campus and I played a college student. We had 2 lecture scenes, and then I was in a patio scene. The taping took about6 hours, which wasn't too bad for TV film standards. I'm not sure if they will pick it up, or not but it was right fun. The main Actors were nice, and I talked to some of them. The producers and Directors were very laid back and not at all pushy Hollywood types. I feel better when they are like that. Its sort of ironic because I hate the University of Richmond (they rejected my album on WDCE, and I had big fall out with the radio station there), and I also HATE anything high school and/or college related. But I think its nice to be a part of something like this and I hope it goes well for them. When I got home I was right hungry, but all I had was a peanutbutter sandwich. If I'm gonna be on television I do have to watch my figure!

Sweet Tea

One of my newest songs



It might sound better on guitar..

Well I been so busy lately but work is coming along okay. There's a girl I really liked there but she is married. She reminds me a lot of Shannon, my first crush when I was 14-years-old and I remember how it hurt when she rejected me. But this girl is married so OFF LIMITS!

I went to the thrift shop the other day and got some nifty new clothes. A pair of trousers and a few polo shirts. Mainly Im getting some stuff for this TV show Im gonna be an Extra in on Sunday afternoon. They're shooting at the U of R campus and want college kids in the background scenes. They said bring several changes of clothes and all the college kid stuff such as bookbags and sketch pads and books, etc. Well I got everything except an IPOD. But when I sent them my picture, they said I had the look they needed. So I guess I get to go back to school for a day.

18 years have passed today..

Since mother died. On July 21st, 1990. I think I remember it clearly that day as it was very hot and humid and then the rains came. I knew that she was in the last stages, as her breathing was becoming labored and she had the death rattle. I told her how much she was a great mother to me and I loved her. I was listening to "Who will stop the rain" in the basement. Around 2:20 PM she died and Gretchen came down to tell me that she had died. I remember seeing the paramedics carrying her away on the stretcher. I don't think I can forget these things, but I try not to dwell on such thoughts. Daddy was so upset today he went to Hollywood Cemetery to talk to her for awhile and I think that helped. I know she is not there, though, she is with Jesus. I remember that day raining and very hard. Sally's birthday was the day before, and there was a lot of cake left over. I remember feeling so bad I ate the whole thing that was left- and then went to Wendy's that day. Both cars broke down. We had the funeral at St. Francis Church in Great Falls. I remember a fine woman named Virginia Hammond gave the eulogy. That time was hard for me. Ironically, I didn't really have time to grieve or miss my mom until I started high school. Then I had bouts of depression and anxiety, and the Dr. even put me on Prozac and Zoloft. It wasn't for me, though. I remember I even joined a group for depressed teenagers. I felt better knowing that those kids were a lot more messed up than I was.

Anyways, the years have passed, but I still remember Mama like she was in her truest form. She was materialistic or greedy in any way, she was awfully generous too and more concerned about her childrens well being than her own. She did have her hang ups though. But nobody is perfect. I remember she said once "The only trouble with letting it all hang out with your emotions is time may come when you'll feel terribly guilty about it". I think thats true. You should be careful what you say. Anyways, she was a real Richmond gal, and I think shes in beauty queen heaven.

Yesterday I played some Beach Music on the portico of the church with The Meadow Street Band. We got lots of nice comments from the neigbors. Afterwards, we went out to Buffalo Wild Wings downtown where I had a chicken sandwich, and we planned out future shows and set lists.

Paul's Deli Open Mic

Monday night I went to Paul's Deli open mic in Williamsburg. I had a fairly good time. I was amazed at how many people were there. Its mainly a college deli- but old school style. They had some people in their 40s and 50s also. But mostly people under 30 like myself. So I did "We Talk In Circles", "From The Outside Looking In" and "My Loudoun County Home". Well Sir, they were talking and talking, but when I did "My Loudoun County Home" you could hear a pin drop! I was really surprised. I think a song about greedy developers and subdivisions, and a horse that died and a girl that dumped you , really tugs at the heart strings! I dont mind Paul's Deli- its not too rough. It is kind of Yankee-ish though. The food they have is mostly pizza, subs, and beer. Mostly you would think you were in New Jersey instead of C. Williamsburg. The acts were pretty good. They had a good 150 people in the room so it was right noisy. I had a lot of time before the show to pray and reflect in Williamsburg. I got there kind of early. The host didnt start til 9 PM and played for over an hour. He was very accomodating though

On Tuesday , Jodi and the children came over. They got Pizza from Mary Angela's in Carytown. Only Christopher stayed, while Jodi and the children went over to Chesapeake to see her sister. We took Christopher out to the bookstore, then to Ukrop's for a froze yogurt. He is 15-years-old already, and a nice kid, but kind of arrogant at times. He is in a special school in Charleston to intellectuals. I never did well in school. I was never on the honor roll. But in 3rd grade, I did get sent to the Principal's office many a time for singing in class!

Ashland Farmer's Market and an Ironic Malt Shop

I played The Ashland Farmer's Market Saturday which went pretty nice. It was nice to have some appreciation there, after the fiasco that happened at The Ironwhore- oops I mean Ironhorse Restaurant a few years ago. I think some people complained about my music there- but really it was enemies who wanted to cause some trouble. I had made 70$ in tips that night and sold several albums. I even did a Jerry Lewis request. So all in all the night went well. Ill never know why I wasnt asked back. Anyways, this went pretty nicely. I didnt make a whole lot of tips- only about 25$ , but I gave away lots of business cards and they seemed to like me okay . So this was a nice "comeback" to Ashland. I can walk away feeling okay about the place.


Later that afternoon, I went over to Williamsburg to relax. Colonial Williamsburg seems to help me unwind from the modern pressures of everyday living. Wow, do I sound like a commercial, or what?? Anyhow, I got a bite to eat at Retro's- a very ironic place because its a Retro 50s Diner, but inside there are "National Geographic-esque" pictures on the wall. Mostly from India and guys with guns, and starving children and such. I thought how ironic is that? It certainly didn't fit the theme of the place.

Anyways, I had a chicken sandwich there and a sweet tea. The food is good there , though- and cheap! I strolled along the streets and then visited the college. I never really get sick of Williamsburg not matter how many times I go. I get a peaceful, easy feeling there. Not to quote The Eagles... Later I stopped at The Polo Club and got just half a sandwich. I had to work yesterday- Sunday of all things. The Lords day. I dont think Jesus would like that. But anyways, I do need the extra money. I do think they ought to be closed on Sunday. The crowd wasnt too bad, though.

Lazy Days..

I feel really lazy lately. I went to work this afternoon but I was just exhausted. They lunch rush is really bad from about 11:30-2:30 Then it slows down. My argyle socks came today in the mail Yay! Just what I needed. I had to take a nap because I was tired. Tomorrow Im gonna remix a song for the single Im making, then get a new needle for Portable Rheme Califone 1430 record player. I took Mosby for a walk through Carytown tonight. Nothing special. I was thinking today about how much I hate hot dogs...

I have a new youtube channel here: http://www.youtube.com/foreveranalog
Ill post all my record favorites on that .

Shalom, Y'all !

I played today at the Jewish Retirement Home. They like a lot of Elvis, so I did that. Also a few of my own songs. They really seemed to like it, but said it was a tad loud so I had to adjust the levels a bit. I was sweating kind of something awful. Some old guy said I should be on American Idol. I cringe at the very mention of that show, but it was a nice gesture. Its kinda odd there , I tried not to do any Gospel. There aren't a whole lot of Jewish people in Richmond- they had a lot of retirees from up North- places like New York and such. I guess its hard for them to fit in here since most everyone I know is Southern Baptist or Episcopalian. Anyhow, I really liked it. Its too bad more Jews won't accept Christ, though.

Later I went home and took Mosby for his walk. I was thinking lately Am I too old for the music business? When I turned 29 in April, I thought wow, Ill be 30 next year. Now that is very young, but to some people that is considered older for the industry. My thoughts are I really don't care about the music industry, nor do I want a recording contract. I simply want to sing and make my own records and make a decent living. Which I can do. Not only that, but I have written a great deal of songs. I know the Lord is giving me. I had a good time at rehearsal last night with The Meadow Street Band. After it was over, Ron and Larry listened to the Masters for My Loudoun County Home and Moved By the Spirit. Everything they said was fine but the fiddle needs to come down some and the vocals up and drums. I can get Ryan to fix that . Mr Dominic Carpin of The Cashmere Jungle Lords fame- did the mastering and he has a keen ear for stuff. But the mixes cant really be fixed at time. Then we went to McDonald's on West Broad St- the new one. I had a Big Mac and a Sweet Tea. We're talking about plans of what we want to do music wise. I sure hope we get more paying gigs soon. I think that the band is helping me let go of my own Ego.

The Fourth of You Lie !

Just kidding... Really there used to be this black lady on Richmond Community TV that was some kind of anti-White person and she would call the 4th of July "The Fo'th of You Lie!" She had a show called 'The Dark Side Possee'- basically went on about how white man is a dirty devil and black people had the earliest civilizations and white man took the credit. That is losely true, if you count Egypt, but I dont know about much else. When anyone called in to disagree with her she would say "Alright, goodbye caller" Then she would smile and say 'Carlton? Do we have any other people on the line?" Anyways, I think she needed to listen to more Tony Robbins Positive thinking tapes..

This 4th wasnt that great but not bad. I had off work , but didnt get to sing with the choir at the Plantation in Powhatan. Instead I just slept in. We went later to see the fireworks at Byrd Park. We first sat near the tennis courts. Some young people were in front of us and some girl was talking about people she hated at work. She was really cute (all the girls were) but I tried not to stare because their boyfriends were there with them. The men weren't talking about much at all. But the one blonde girl (who incidently looked and sounded just like Sarah Michelle Gellar) went on about people at work- this lady is a "b-tch" , this person is fat and ugly", I hate them and I wish they would die, etc... And using a lot of explextives and un-lady like language. Of course she had a beer in her hand so that could explain the situation. Anyways, we sat for awhile and no fireworks. The group they went up and went back home. So finally we did see something and had to move towards the tree. They were pretty nice, but kind of far away . But we could see them okay. They just weren't great. Even the grand finale wasnt so nice. Then we went back home.

Saturday I had to go to work again. I cut my finger and they offered to take me to the hospital, but I was okay. Then after work we took Sally out to get a milkshake at McDonald's in Carytown, then to the Pet Store and Target. She wants a new TV for her bedroom, but the new ones are awfully expensive, and she dosent really visit here that often. Shes still up in Sterling at the Group Home. She likes to watch a lot of movies though. I think I am losing more weight. My clothing is getting much loser. I wear a 36 touser now (I am about 36.7 inch waist now), and my shirts are lose. The only problem is my lumpy chest. I still have a big lumpy bosom and its embarrasing. That is usually the last to go. Its odd because I dont look as fat elsewhere. I guess I have an hour glass figure !

I look younger to most people..

Pictures don't really show it....



I find it odd but a lot of people think I look at least 8 years younger than my actual age (29). Some people think I look older (only via the internet), but most people meet me in person and when I tell them my age they just say "Wow, I thought you were a lot younger". Maybe its also because I have such an innocent look, but also an innocent persona. I am innocent compared to most people (I am not sin free, of course!), but I guess my eyes are the tell tale sign. When I recorded for Williamsburg Public Radio the guy running the show thought I was 18. And on casting calls I have been to they look at my age and then really comment on how much younger I look than my actual age. I think partly its genetic, but also I dont drink or smoke, and I stay out of the sun , and when I do go in the sun, I lather myself in sun tan lotion!

Sally is here for 4th of July. Sister Sally. We took her out for coffee, then she wanted to go to Gooodwill on W. Broad St. I got a few records- one of Sylvia- the 80s Country Pop One Hit Wonder, and one of The Eagles Greatest Hits (I usually dont go for Greatest Hits album, but vinyl is an exception). They both sound really nifty on stereos at home. We also stopped at Books-A-Million, where Sally first thought she wanted a book on Nelson Mandella, but opted for a book on Horses instead. I think she made a good choice. I have off work tomorrow and Im relieved about that. Its only been 3 days working there and I feel just like a field hand. I sure hope they won't work me too hard. Hard work does age you, indeed. And Im allergic to hard work!