Little Things I Regret...

I've lived a life that's full. And I've travelled each and every byway. And yes, much more than this- I did it my way. But there are a few things I wished I had done differently. I don't believe they would have changed the outcome of my life, but they might have made the road much easier. I think that as I look back on my life, I can see where I went wrong. But then I realize how much more I did right. That's a comforting thought.

- I wish I had enjoyed being a teenager
When I was a teenager , I was always wanting to be older. Because that period of my life was too painful for me. I felt that adults were nicer and not so mean. Having no friends and no social life and being 80 lbs overweight made it difficult for me to enjoy those years. But looking back, I wished I had of enjoyed it . Teenagers have it so easy . They're old enough to do some adult things, but not as much is expected of them. If I could be 16 again, I would not want to have been so isolated from my peers. I would have done more with them.

-I wish I had never gotten fat
My life would have been so much different if I never gained weight. I started out a relatively healthy, normal child. A bit pudgy by the age of ten, but nothing serious. Then after my mother died , I put on about 20 lbs each year. By the time I was 16, I was a whopping 286 lbs. My life was a mess because of this. No girlfriends, no Prom. No social life. I know that we wish we could live in a society where looks don't matter. But unfortunately they do. The kids at school did not like me, for more than just being fat. But I know so well if I hadn't been fat, my life would have been 10x easier. I lost the extra weight by the time I turned 18 through diet pills, only to have it come back time and time again. But if I had never gotten obese in the first place, I would never have to worry about the weight. Because the painful truth is once you're fat- its for life. If you lose the weight , you have to fight tooth and nail to make sure it doesn't come back. That's just how it is. Thin people will never understand how hard it is to fight weight gain. Because they have never been there.

I should have taken the SATs
I was all set to take them, but I never did. I couldn't get up early enough to make the trip over to Winchester to do it. But now, I wish I had. It probably wouldn't have made much difference, but its one of those things I didn't follow through on. And that means that its something I wished I had of done


I wish I had of listened to my parents
In the past few years, my father and I have finally made amends for many things. But in reality, I was a very difficult child and teenager to do deal with. I was a rebellious lad, and put my parents through a lot. I just wanted to do things my way. Being the youngest, I was spoiled in a way , but thats no excuse. If only I had of made things easier for my parents. After my mother died, I should have been there for my father. But I was too wrapped up in my own little world. I felt that it was hardest on me, not realizing that it was much harder on him. He lost his wife. I just wanted this, and I wanted that. I should have stayed in school , but when I dropped out because I wanted to be home schooled, that put more stress on him.


I shouldn't have stepped on anyone's toes
In my early 20s, I was so bent on making a name for myself, I really ticked off a lot of people in the process. I made enemies in music , split up bands, and made a lot of enemies because of that. Even in times where I was wrongfully treated, I should have let things go. By retaliating, I only made matters worse. I have apologized to those people that I offended, but Show Business has an elephant's memory. Things aren't forever in the theater, but in music, they last quite a bit of time . If only I had of not wanted so bad to be a Star. If only I had of just enjoyed the music.


If only I had of stayed in college
I shouldn't have quit college. I was very close to getting my Associates Degree and making a living for myself. I could have gone on to VCU. If I had of done that, I might have a decent paying job and not living at home at the age of 30. But I didn't. I quit because I felt I needed to concentrate on my music. But I could have still done both. Now I may go back to school someday soon, but I don't know. Stepping back inside a classroom will be hard for me. If only I had of finished up school. If only...

I should have began my career in diapers


I popped out of the womb singing, and playing the piano came natural to me. So did the songwriting. I could have been a child star. I was so adorable as a youngster. I could act, sing and dance, and make people smile. I should have pursued my career when I was a tiny tot. I waited way too long. When I was teenager I was a bit too scared to do anything. And being too young to play at dives or bars , I felt I had time. But I got started too late. It wasn't til I was 21 that I started gigging and it took me several years just to learn the tricks of the trade. I should have moved to Nashville or Hollywood when I got fresh out of high school. If I had of kept my weight down- I could have even been a male fashion model. Gag, but it would pay the bills! Now Im stuck at this. If only I had of started earlier in my life . I would have been years ahead. I always feel that I'm 5 years behind of where I want to be.

Well, that's about all. Everything else I have done was perfectly correct!