I guess its no secret that everyone by now knows my life story. "They Called Me Porker" pretty much sums up my middle and high school years. But what most people don't know, is that at the age of 17, I was put on a very dangerous drug cocktail known as "Phen-Fen", a diet pill craze that was sweeping the nation. I was much too young for these drugs and their effects. But in the Fall of 1996, when I had ballooned up to 286 lbs, I was desperate to try anything. I hadn't really dieted or tried to lose weight consciously before then, except a brief period when I in the 5th grade and they put me on a "low fat" diet. Anyways, around that time, "Dr. F" in Middleburg, Virginia, was the man who was giving these drugs out like candy. I wanted some of that candy! But the truth is, I was skeptical it would even work. I had never tried anything before. This was also around the time, just before I accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of my life.
When I saw the Dr, my father asked if diet and exercise could work as effectively. But the Dr said "This boy has too much weight to lose for that". So I went on these drugs. The drugs were so powerful, each day I had to force myself just to eat a cup of low fat yogurt. My heart would be beating so hard , I felt like it would come out of my chest. My mouth was as dry and parched as the Mohave Dessert. But low, and behold, it did work! The first month , I dropped 28 lbs. I just couldn't believe it. For the next three months, I lost around 20 lbs, until finally I plateaued at around 215 lbs. That may sound still sound fairly overweight for a teenager, but I was so thrilled. I didn't have boobs anymore, and I could fit into normal clothes- and wear my dad's suits . But the drugs had more effect on me than just my weight. I would call girls from school in the middle of the night and ask them if they would like to have dinner with me at The White House. I would get very mad and some times violent and throw things. One time I couldn't find my riding boots, and I threw an expensive lamp out of the 2nd floor window. This was not good. I was becoming someone not myself. Thrashing around on the floor, even, and trying to stab myself at one point.
Well, gradually, I had to be taken off completely of the drugs. The weight stayed about the same. The Dr tried putting me on Thorazine, Redux, and a few others. Nothing seemed to work. The weight slowly came back on. Four years later, I was heavy as I had been before. Then I went on a drug called "Meridia". This also worked, and was much less powerful and had fewer side effects. The pictures that most people see me at a thinner weight, were the result of that. But as I went off, I slowly went back to my old eating habits again. Each year, put on another 15 lbs. By 2004, I was right back to where I had been at 17. Seems like pills just don't do the trick. Then the year later, my grandmother died, and I would eat every night Late at Wendy's, and binge on Krispy Kreme Donuts. When I reached 301 lbs, I realized it was now or never. So I told myself " no more drugs". This time, I let the Lord guide me on everything. I never thought I could ever exercise again, but I did. Started by walking just a mile a day. Now I can bike ride, swim, and even run. So without drugs, I have managed to lose weight that I know will never come back, ever. This is a good feeling. I never could admit to myself that I was a diet pill addict, and now I can do so.
